Quick answer. Ask four things: is there a current will, who can handle money if they can't (a durable power of attorney), who can make medical decisions (a health care directive), and where is the list of accounts and policies. Then check beneficiary forms, and book the signing for while everyone is still in town.
Start with logistics, not mortality
Few people want to talk about their own death over pie. Almost everyone is willing to talk about a practical problem. Try: "If you were in the hospital for a week, who would pay the electric bill?" The answer tells you whether there's a power of attorney, whether anyone knows the accounts, and whether the bills are on autopay. From there the will and the medical directive come up naturally.
The four documents
- A will, signed under the state's rules. Our will witness requirements by state table shows how many witnesses each state needs and whether a self-proving affidavit is used.
- A durable power of attorney for money, so someone can pay bills and deal with the bank without going to court. Signing rules vary; see power of attorney requirements by state and our signing checklist.
- A health care directive that names a decision-maker and records wishes. In New Jersey it's signed before two adult witnesses or acknowledged before a notary, and the named representative can't witness it (N.J.S.A. 26:2H-56). More on living wills and health care proxies.
- The list: bank and investment accounts, retirement plans, insurance policies, the deed and mortgage, car titles, online accounts, and where the originals are kept. It isn't a legal document, and it's the one families most often wish they had.
Beneficiary forms can override the will
Retirement accounts, life insurance and payable-on-death bank accounts go to whoever is named on the account's own form, whatever the will says. Ask each parent to log in or call and confirm the names. An ex-spouse or a child who has since died is a common surprise.
Questions to write down the answers to
- Where are the will, the power of attorney and the health care directive, and when were they signed?
- Who is named as executor, agent and health care representative, and do those people know?
- Which bills are on autopay, and from which account?
- Is there a safe deposit box, and who can open it?
- Who is the lawyer, accountant or financial adviser, if there is one?
- What should happen with the house, and is anyone living there who depends on it?
If the worst happens later
The person who ends up settling the estate will need the list above. Our executor guide by state, the small estate affidavit by state table and the executor tracker pick up from there.
Getting it signed while everyone is home
New documents often need the parent's signature plus witnesses or a notary. If the family is together for the holiday, book the signing that week: a mobile notary can come to the house, and an adult child who flew home Sunday can still join an online session for documents that allow it. A college student turning 18 may want a power of attorney and health care proxy of their own; see documents for college students.
General information checked November 10, 2026. A checklist, not legal, tax or financial advice. We are notaries, not lawyers: we can witness signatures and notarize, but we can't tell you which document to sign or prepare one for you.